No! Not me, good lord. Thankfully, its my sister in law that has a bun roasting and there is nothing more exciting than being blessed with a new baby in the family. Of course, with the growing belly, the baby kicks, the tiredness and GIFTS brings the scary world of maternity style. My SIL talk about it… alot – the good (rare), the bad and the Kim K. Duh, you know that she gets her own fuckyouredumb category.
Never does that ‘what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-wear’ dilemma come into play more than when you are pregnant. You know those skinny jeans and asymmetrical crop tops that used to look good—or should look good, or would have looked good—now they don’t, they really don’t. They’re bad, really bad.
From my own baby mama experience, comfort and style are key, but even the trashiest of the trash richest of the rich miss the memo with what happily fit the new bod in week 12 can be down right wrong in week 20. So yes, even celebrities who can burn money even fall prey to heinous maternity choices.
What Kim Kardashian has chosen to wear since she has been pregnant have amounted to pure eye pollution. Kardashian defends her choice of maternity fashion by complaining that she can’t find clothes that fit her now. Seriously? How much money does this bitch have. I bet she’s regretting those ass injections now!
Whatever her motivation is, she needs to quit it. And she’s not the only one who deserves a fashion thrashing for their faux pas. Let’s laugh look at some of the worst of the worst:
When I was searching for bad celeb maternity style, I came across Katie Price. You think Kim K is bad? This girl is straight-up idiot. Is she high? She can’t be… she’s pregnant.
DISCLAIMER: Sweet pregnant friends! Please, don’t attempt ANYTHING you have seen today. It’s repulsive! It’s insane! It has to be illegal in some states. Here is a few hot mommy preggie tips that I lived by when my baby oven was baking away.
Stick to solids x. Whether you need a bathing suit, classic top or a damn ball gown, solids are usually a safe maternity bet. Clearly, not everyone would agree, as the endless amount of geometrics, graphics, and florals printed on everything labeled maternity is overwhelming, but solid-colored pieces are generally a good choice for everyone. Think a black turtleneck and great dark jeans paired with fabulous bracelets, shoes, etc.
Splurge on premium denim x. If you want to splurge on something, denim is the place to do it. Premium jeans really do make a difference in fit and appearance, and they will be your go-to look for much of your pregnancy AND even after baby is born. Citizens of Humanity, 7 for All Mankind, Hudson, Paige Premium, True Religion, and J Brand all make awesome maternity jeans. Go for dark bootcut or dark skinny and you won’t be sorry.
Pay attention to accessories and grooming x. A little extra time spent on these areas goes a long way. Trust me, you may FEEL disgusting at times but you don’t have to LOOK disgusting, seriously. Add a great statement necklace or feather earrings and just that will make an otherwise-boring tee look custom. And break out the make-up. Sometimes applying a little more eye makeup or blush, or spending a few more minutes flat-ironing your hair, will give you just the extra polish you need. Your man will love it. Really, he’ll thank me.
Look for maxi dresses, tunics, and leggings—the trifecta of modern maternity wear and COMFORT.
However, even now, with endless resources for moms-to-be, maternity wear can still be mystifying. Good luck, god speed.
[images c/o various websites]